Social Chameleon

Last Wednesday was my first day living in Uptown, so I was still getting used to the different sights and sounds and smells of my new neighborhood. So imagine my surprise when just before noon, the ebb and flow of traffic is suddenly drowned out by the unmistakable warble of air-raid sirens.

I stop what I’m doing and peek out the window by my desk. In Georgia, that blaring tone meant a tornado had touched down somewhere within a mile radius, and it would seriously behoove me to shuffle my ass down to the basement post haste. But it was a clear and sunny day, with only the barest hint of a breeze and not a cloud in the sky.

Great, I thought. The Reds are attacking.

The first place I went was weather.com to see if there was some freak weather event occurring outside of my field of vision. No weather alerts had been issued for the area, and the current satellite picture exactly described conditions outside my window. Phew! Next I did a Google search for “Minneapolis sirens,” and wouldn’t you know, they test the damn thing on the first Wednesday of every month. Mystery solved! Evidently all was calm and business as usual in the Twin Cities, and the Wednesday drills were just something I would slowly grow accustomed to.

Shortly after this revelation, the warbling tone stopped.

Now, what does it say about me that, when presented with a loud and piercing warning tone, my first instinct is to check the internet to confirm the presence of danger? I didn’t panic, I didn’t run to the streets, I didn’t even call anybody. Where would I be if it wasn’t for Google search? I’ll tell you, I’d still be cowering in the Southwest corner of the basement, ducked and covered under whatever furniture I could find down there.

It must be a generational thing. People my age literally use the internet for everything, and it would really be peachy keen if the government could make use of the system at the speed of events. I would much rather get a text message that says “Hennepin County says RUN!” or “This is only a test (beeeeeep)” than have to run to a computer, TV or radio to figure out what’s going on.